How We Got Here

Ryan and I had been married for about 4 or 5 years by now, had moved states about 3 times and finally felt like we were ready to start a family. Fast forward 3 more years, and still nothing. If you’ve ever experienced trouble with infertility, you understand. Not just the daily reminders on facebook of pregnancy announcements, but the continual question of “when are you guys going to start a family?” The worst part was the monthly reminder that my dream wasn’t coming true...again. Ryan and I had both thought about adoption prior to getting married, so we started to talk about it again. I didn’t want to go through all the infertility tests, and I felt very strongly that I didn’t need to experience the pregnancy to have a family. SO, we started to look into foster/adoption. I may go into all that story more some other time, but I will say it was a LOT of hours of classes, uncomfortable stories, home inspections, invasive questions, etc.

I remember the call like it was yesterday. I was substitute teaching a class and had multiple missed calls and emails from the county. I texted Ryan when I had a minute to give him a heads up, and called the county back as soon as I had a break. They told me they had a 27 day old little boy that needed a placement. They didn’t have a whole lot of other information, and I had no idea what questions to ask! (Note to prospective foster families- ask questions!) I told them I would talk to my husband and get back to them. With a whole host of butterflies in my stomach, I went back to subbing, but could NOT concentrate (surprise surprise!) On my next break, I called Ryan. I honestly don’t even remember that conversation. But I do remember we said “yes!” As soon as I got off work, Ryan picked me up and we drove an hour and a half to where we would meet our sweet little man. I still remember walking into the room to meet Caleb for the first time. It was so surreal! Just like that, we became parents. We actually picked up our foster license the moment we picked him up. We stopped by Walmart for some baby essentials, and then made our way home.

It was a pretty rough transition for us. Caleb was not an easy baby. He had some tummy issues, sensory stuff, and was behind developmentally even from the time he was little. We got into somewhat of a rhythm, and things got a little better. When Caleb was just 6 weeks old, I came home from work just ragged. I was exhausted, cranky and just didn’t feel good. It wasn’t until I took my bra off that day (TMI- sorry) that I had any thought of possible pregnancy. They were so sore!! I checked the bathroom cabinet, and sure enough, we had 1 pregnancy test left. I figured, what the heck, might as well take it. I put Caleb down for a minute and took the test. Just a few short minutes later we had the answer: “PREGNANT”. Now, being a Pastor’s kid and a Pastor’s wife, I’m not one to use foul language, but as soon as I saw it, I said “What the Hell?!?!” I didn’t even know how to feel. My mind was numb. How was this happening? I started to think of a cute way to tell Ryan. By the time Ryan got home, however, that feeling was gone. Caleb was fussy, I was tired, one of the dogs had thrown up. I was rocking Caleb in the recliner, Ryan walked in and I just handed him the test. I’m sure he didn’t believe it at first. I told him it was for real, and “what now”? He said- “we’ll have two babies!” From that moment on, I knew if Ryan was ready, I was too.

Our Superhero themed pregnancy announcement photo.

Maybe some other time I’ll share Paisley’s birth story, but for now, let’s just skip forward again. Caleb was not even 9 months old when Paisley was born. They are just 8 months and 3 weeks apart. “Irish Twins” is what they are called. Personally, I tend to call them my #almosttwins. A lot of that first year is a complete blur to me. There was little sleep, endless diapers and lots of crying. We were definitely in survival mode. I honestly don’t think we would have made it through such an exhausting time without such a supportive family, church, friends and community. They were there when we really needed them: multiple baby showers, hand me downs, babysitting and lots and LOTS of prayers! I am so grateful for all of the friends that loved us through such a hard time!

As hard as that time was for us, it was going to get harder before it got easier. In May of 2017, after a lot of prayer and discussion, we decided we were supposed to move to Mesa Arizona with a 1 year old and a 6 month old (oh, AND two dogs!) Not the smartest thing we’ve ever done. But when God calls you, you go, even if it’s with two screaming kids in the car. Thankfully, my parents were able to make the trip with us. Once we moved, we decided that I would stay home with the kids as the stay-at-home mom. It was a rough transition (again, I may go further into that in a later blog). What I will say now is this job is HARD. I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was just “Mom”. I had lost who I was.

It wasn’t until 6-7 months later (in February of 2018) when I really started to find myself again. I knew I had to take care of myself. I needed to lose weight and become healthier so that I could continue to take care of my family. I reached out to my friend, who then became my health coach. I never looked back. That single decision put me on a course of not just bettering my health, but my whole person. I have discovered who “Megan” is again. She loves her family fiercely, can laugh with the best of them, likes dumb jokes, crazy dancing with her kiddos and playing volleyball! Every day is a new chance to make a good decision (or a bad one), it just takes the consistency to focus on your goal and your “why”. Not only was I getting healthy and finding myself again, but I found a community that had the same intentions and was uplifting and loving. Through my health coach and this amazing community, I have learned healthy habits to put into practice every day and have found life long friends. What is better than finding a community to help you better yourself through support, encouragement and love?!

Mom and Health Coach